sannalouisiana

"I'm trying to understand. People usually don't say things like "I really really care about you", or "I'll always be here for you", or "You just make me smile", unless they mean it. I mean it doesn't really make any sense, does it? I don't know, it seems like being reasonable doesn't really work with you anymore, but I still wanna see one last time if you really did turn into the person you've been acting like for these last few days, because I cannot find it anywhere in my head to believe that I would have ever gone near a guy like that. If your intention was to hurt me, well then, mission accomplished. Bu what kind of sick idiot would want to inflict that kind of pain on someone they supposedly "really care about"? Not that it really makes a difference anymore this is just the most surreal thing that has ever happened to me and I don't know how to forget it if I don't have an answer. I don't know if you wanna keep being an ass and write something stupid or ignore this text or if you wanna try and tell me what the hell is going on. I really can't tell if you even want it or care, but I'm just letting you know this is your last chance to try and explain yourself. Think about it before doing something stupid now Clint. I don't believe you're that dumb. Even after this, even after treating me like this, I still don't believe you're THAT dumb. I mean, considering what you've done this week, I guess there isn't really anything that would surprise me but I am just hoping that the guy I spent the last three months with was actually there, that I didn't make him up, or that he didn't disappear from the surface of the earth. And if you have any sense of human decency left in you, I hope you realize you just brought me back to the very bottom, where I already spent the entire last summer, and I'm not staying there... I'm not going through that again. And I guess whatever you decide to do now, I'll get over it one day. So at the risk of feeling even more humiliated than I already do, I'm leaving it up to you if you want me to stay at the bottom for another good while or if you wanna bring me back to normal. I've been going over it over and over in my head what to do, how to get back at you. But just now I decided to just be the bigger person and move on with my life. And please understand, if you do decide to let me stay at the bottom, you will always be the reason I regret coming here to spend what was supposed to be one of the best years of my life. And I will always hate you for that. I wouldn't even wish that upon someone I hated. And even though I'm doubting it, I don't even think you really hate me. I really don't know what I did to make you do this to me in the first place. If there was one single person on this planet that I could take back ever having met, it would be you, without a doubt. I might get mad a lot, but I would never, ever hurt someone like this. Not ever. I always try and see everything from your side when we discuss something, but this I just simply don't understand no matter how I put it. Text me back or don't, but if you don't... do not ever talk to me again. And if you do, whatever it is, tell me the TRUTH about this. You were the sweetest guy I had ever met, and now you're the most horrible one. Literally. I don't get it."